It's been a word on my mind...

...but I wasn't actually the one to come up with it. Transatlantic--that would be us on the left playing at the Island Bar on V-day: Tom's in the middle, and Matt.

See, Dad was afraid I'd come to England and fall in love and he'd never see his grandkids. What he didn't take into account was the fact that I'd come to England and start a band and drop out of school. Kidding on that last count, of course...tentatively... ;)

Is this insane or what?? This is all I'm doing these days! I prayed and asked for prayer that music would still be a part of my life and here it's the crux of my ministry--I just keep meeting people at these things, and I feel like I'm actually forming lifelong friendships. God knew what He was doing when He put all this together. Guys...I'm playing in a band. With really wonderful musicians. Life can't get much better, and I couldn't possibly have a better way to share the most real parts of who I am and what I've been through...what God has done in my life and who HE is...than music.

So check out jam session #2 from the Canvas House at:
myspace.com/transatlanticmusic

And continue to pray for me to be filled with the Holy Spirit as I write and speak and laugh and share life with people.

It is so significant for me to realize that God created me to be exactly who I am, very much on purpose. It's easy to let rejection and hurt (and perfectionism) crowd that out...so ridiculously easy. Thanks for being people who affirm who I am, flaws and all, and accepting me unconditionally as a part of the body of Christ. I hope I do the same for you. I hope that I can learn better and better what it means to love and respect people right where they are and, by doing so, remind them that they belong.

Speaking of flaws...I haven't been taking prayer as seriously as I want to lately. I don't really mind being honest about that; something about throwing it out to however many people makes me feel more accountable for it. So especially since you guys are so faithful in praying for me (I'm almost embarrassed by it), I really really want to be that reliable in return! Most of all, I don't ever want to diminish the importance of taking everything to God by neglecting to just do it.

That's all. :) Love you guys. (And y'all.)

This is Canvas!

Patrick, Josh, Robert, Natalie, Kevin, me, Aubri, Leah

We're on the back porch of our flat about the restaurant...you can see the University a bit in the background.

Warwick Castle--

Patrick, Matt, and I

Your mother is a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries. Really.

It's 4:30 pm on Sunday afternoon...and THIS is Warwick Castle, from which I have just returned. I met some really cool people at an open mic night recently that I'm getting to collaborate with (!), one of whom was a guy named Matt Burns, and he took Patrick and I today to Warwick. And now I'm at a loss trying to find words to describe the beauty of this place. Hundreds and hundreds of years of souls have walked those corridors I was in today; they stood atop the towers where I stood and their eyes took in the same land--however different it may look now. I wonder what thoughts they kept. Because, of course, people may wear chain mail or skinny trousers, they may accessorize with partlets or pocket watches or nose rings, but they each sweat and laugh out loud and fall in love and feel afraid. This pulls me forward.

I like sharing these episodes best. They aren't, of course, the daily grind, but these are the moments that inspire me and leave my heart reeling from the blow. And I want all of you to know that in between times of frustration or fatigue or loneliness I am overjoyed to be in this beautiful country, and God makes His presence known every day--sometimes, like today, He and I share the stricken silence of my mind and laugh together at the sheer scope of human nature. You and I worship an enormous, colorful God.

Back to Selly Oak life...furniture is in, sky sports and internet are up and running!, and the place is really looking cool. We keep going out most nights; I'm trying still to be patient remembering that friendships don't happen instantaneously. But they are happening!

I feel as though I've found my niche, which is the biggest blessing of all. All this has stretched me so much, and it's easy to feel sometimes as though someone else should have been here instead of me. But God orchestrated Canvas, I know it to be true, and playing music has proved to be the best way for me to get to know people. Seriously--I love it. I could do it every day for the rest of my life. And there's just no avoiding going deeper if you're going to share music; it comes from the core of who you are.

As for the actual music department at Uni, I went out with most of them Wednesday (a pub crawl). It's not a wide open door, that's for sure. But one really great girl in particular has actually reached out to me, and she invited me to go along.

All I really share with you guys are my stories, too...Patrick and Josh have other networks of friends, most of whom I've met--really awesome people, and Natalie and Robert do as well, and Kevin and Leah. So when you piece it all together, the web is actually pretty big by this point! Amazing!

And the sun has been shining like crazy. It completely transforms my attitude.

One more thing: Natalie had us little team members spend some time one morning evaluating our motivation in being here--our "pushes" and "pulls." Basically, people in our lives that have believed in us, friends that have poured into us, that we've seen come to Christ, ect. The first thing on my list was my parents' example in moving to Chicago 18 years ago, a really cold and foreign place far from home where they knew no one. And they stuck it out because God asked them to. They are amazing and I love them so much. And because of their obedience, the other biggest push on my list is the Parkview family that continues to encourage me (and me indirectly by caring for my parents). I held back tears for about a minute before they came on their own anyway.

This family is all we've got. Loving people--it's the only thing that's worth it. You all who care enough to even read these ramblings, let alone pray for me (adding to my armor)--you are amazing and I thank God for you over and over.

Glad Lady Liberty still has her head.

We went with some friends to see "Cloverfield" last night. Quite a ride.

So y'all are snowed in, huh? Skyped with my family this afternoon/morning and they showed me the backyard. It looks like unredeemed Narnia.

Still very cold here, but guys, it's February! If the groundhog visits the UK, he'd see his shadow today, because the sun is actually shining. This means we've made it through a month! It's 4:43 pm and not quite dark yet. This is a serious improvement from a few weeks ago--wow.

This update is really overdue; I'm sorry about that. Still no internet in the Canvas house. The home makeover is slow, but we've got some better furniture now and sky sports, which is huge. I'll keep you posted on that.

More importantly...the core dream is being realized. We're settling into this neighborhood.

I don't even know how to talk about it, exactly. This place doesn't look a whole lot different from home, and the language is 95% the same, so it's hard to be prepared for the invisible cultural obstacle course, and you can really only take it one trick at a time. Smalltalk--casual conversation--is particularly frustrating to me. I can do it at home, chat with strangers, whatever. But here, sarcasm doesn't always translate the same way, and I STILL find myself caught off guard when someone says, "You okay?" (Which is just their way of saying "how's it going". And I start every time, thinking, "shoot...was I zoning out? do I look ill? what the heck?")

Major events definitely worth sharing:

Josh, Aubri, and I went to London last weekend! Stayed in a couple different hostels, saw Buckingham Palace, the buildings of Parliament, Big Ben, St. John's Cathedral, the London Bridge, the British Museum...definitely a whirlwind couple of days! I can't tell you how great it was to get away for the weekend and just relax, just sightsee. How many times in our life will we be back in Europe, honestly? So we packed backpacks, hopped a train and had an amazing time.

And perhaps even more exciting (probably only a few people will see it this way)--I played my first open mic on Thursday night! It's a pub called the Soak, and I'd been with friends with past 3 weeks just to see how they do things. Now that we've got a keyboard, there was no reason to wait, so I took a deep breath and jumped in. It happened to be packed that night--the most talent I'd heard there yet! It was an amazing night! All of us met so many cool people, and it felt so good to be in my niche. This is what I love, this is what I can talk to people about. And the music scene here isn't too shabby, so I'm incredibly excited to explore some more; I'll play at the Pear Monday night and the Soak again, maybe, on Thursday. Dang, I'd better write some more songs. :)

All for now, I've got to get out of the house before I go crazy. I'd love to give more specific prayer requests but want to be respectful of people, so here are a few:

-internet and the Canvas house in general. Ask God's blessing over the physical structure, that people will really sense His love and acceptance when they walk in the door.
-classes, those relationships, those challenges.
-Kevin, Leah, Natalie, and Robert ("big team"), who have been here a few months now working really, really hard to get things off the ground and meet people as well. Encouragement and energy for them.
-Patrick, Josh, Aubri, and I ("little team"), as we're figuring out our unique strengths and weaknesses, learning how to best be there for each other and spur each other on. (And Patrick's off surfing this weekend with some guys, so pray for a great weekend for him.)
-music: inspiration, continued opportunity to play, time to write. Music=soul food. It's how God wired me. And it's how I connect best with other people! (This is so exciting!!)
-words to talk about the real things in life in a way that isn't confusing or lofty.

There are a lot of different kinds of people in the world.

This really fires me up.

Sometimes I'm clumsy as I try to learn about them and as we try to connect with each other, but everything finds its source in God. He's taught me more and stretched me more already than I could put into words, and He fills in these gaps every day.

Lord, I love you so much and don't even know how to do that well, most of the time. Thank you for taking care of me and being patient with all of us who just want to get closer to that holy Love and reflect it.